how to create a community

It’s a Friday evening, one of the first warm ones of the season, and there are pink flamingoes outside my living room window. I pull a batch of chocolate chip cookies out of the oven and toss a bottle of wine in the fridge to chill. Next door, my neighbor is arranging folding tables across her front lawn and dangling paper lanterns from her tree. Within the hour, doors will open up and down our street and the people whose houses we drive by every morning and every evening will wander over. They’ll be dressed in suits, coming straight from work. They’ll be hoisting babies on hips and pulling back on small hands eager to capture fireflies. They’ll have that very particular Friday evening look about them, the one that calls for a beer and a bit more conversation and a bit less talk. And though we call this a happy hour, it lasts until well after the sun has set.

My neighbor began this tradition two years ago. She walked up and down our street, tucking flyers into mailboxes, welcoming the entire street to her front lawn on a warm Friday evening. People came. They brought drinks and snacks and they introduced themselves and asked questions and gave answers and before we knew it, we had a community.

We sometimes fall into the trap of using the words ‘neighborhood’ and ‘community’ interchangeably. But it isn’t always so. A collection of houses lined in a row and sharing a common street does not a community make. But a simple, pot luck happy hour where adults catch up over glasses of wine and kids run around in the grass as the sun sets? That’ll do it.

If you’re yearning to live in a community and not just a neighborhood, here are ten ways to do it.

1. Just take the leap Yes, the idea of inviting a whole street of people, many of whom you don’t know, to your home is intimidating. What will you serve? What will you say? What if nobody comes? (What if everyone comes!?). There are always risks. But the rewards are well worth it.

2. Keep it simple Anything too elaborate will fall apart under its own weight. So keep it small and simple. A pot luck happy hour. An evening of s’mores around your backyard fire pit. An ice cream party. Don’t, under any circumstances, turn on your oven.

3. Invite with wild abandon

Invite them all. Everyone on your street. Everyone on your block. Just do it. Sure, some of them won’t show. But you won’t have time to take it personally when you’re mingling and bond-building.

4. And don’t close the list Choose a boundary because otherwise you’ll go crazy. But if someone from the next street over happens to wander in, remember, the more the merrier! Community has to start somewhere but, when it’s working, it grows.

5. Make it family friendly Neighborhoods, and communities, have kids. If you want to create a bond, you’re on your way if you include the small ones in it. And, just as important, when you get caught up in life and forget to plan the next one, it’s the kids who will remind you.

6. Enlist a mascot

Remember those pink flamingoes? They are our happy hour mascot. Even if you didn’t get the flyer or haven’t heard the buzz, when you see those bright birds perched on the lawn, you know you’re welcome.

7. Work the crowd Catch up with the neighbor whose front door is mere feet from yours. But also introduce yourself to that family up the hill whose sidewalk chalk art you always admire.

8. Let it take on it’s own life You’ll envision a few tables, a few snacks, a few drinks. But then someone will bring folding chairs. Another will bring out door games for the kids. Before you know it, the whole night will have grown beyond your initial plan in a truly amazing way.

9. The smile and wave You won’t remember the name of every person you meet but that shouldn’t stop you from aiming a wave at your neighbors when you pass them on the street. Community may begin at a Friday evening lawn party but it survives on waves, hellos, and catching up in between.

10. Bask in the benefits When summer ends, the pink flamingoes hibernate and so do our neighbors. The winter can be long and cold and you may feel that your community is falling apart. But then you catch a wave between cars passing in the street or see snow shovels wandering down the street, ignoring property lines, and you see that the whole thing may be a bit sleepy bit it is still well in tact.

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