10 Things Independent Women Wish You Knew
By: @brookewillson -- These are a few traits that I have come to learn about my own self and that I stand by. I have always thought 'wouldn't it be great if my significant other or those in similar relationships were to be aware of, understand, accept and appreciate my 'ways' of being?' With that said... Here are a few points that may resonate with you, whether you're an independent woman yourself, in a relationship with one, or struggling to capture her heart... These points may help you understand her better.
1) We need our freedom
We don’t want to feel tied down. We want to be able to continue to see our friends, go out for drinks, plan solo trips and not feel guilty for doing so. We need you to trust us and even encourage us to spend time apart. It also makes the time we do spend together that much more special. Once you realize and respect the fact that that we need our ‘me’ time, we will end up loving you even more.
2) We want to carry our own weight
We don’t want you to do everything for us. We want to and enjoy packing our own gear, planning and preparing for trips and doing our part in driving/getting to the destination. We are more then okay carrying our own weight and packs out when we are on the trail. We want to work hard and earn our reward!
3) We like learning the hard way
We love feeling as though we are able to do things on our own. If we don’t know how to do something we may ask you in advance, but 99% of the time we will try and figure it out on our own. We often will say we don’t need your help, and then go ahead and try to figure it out on our own. There will come times we fail and then come running to you after, though it is the feeling of having put the effort in that somehow makes us feel better.
4) We need to feel challenged
We don’t want a ‘push-over’. We need you to tell us if we are being irrational, or not making sense. We want you to stand up for yourself and be honest. We want to be pushed outside our comfort zones and challenged both physically and mentally. We are great at pushing our own selves so we need someone who is going to challenge us even more.
5) We need you to be honest
Not feeling it anymore? Tell us. We don’t want someone who is going to beat around the bush with things. When we want something or feel a certain way we are going to tell you how we feel, and expect you do so in return. We believe that our time is precious, and so it yours. We would much rather you be honest than lie or prolong things.
6) We want to pay for things
We do have jobs you know (well most of us do). We want to and are okay with paying for things. We have a hard time letting you constantly ‘pick up the tab’ when we go out for dinner, constantly getting the gas or buying us gifts. Don’t get us wrong, we appreciate and enjoy your thoughtfulness here and there but we do love working for things. If we say ‘I got this’ don’t fight it.
7) We need you to feel confident and secure
We don’t want to feel as though we constantly need to provide you with reassurance. We don’t want you to always be worrying about where we are, who we are with or what we are doing. Having confidence and security in your own self and in our relationship will make life way easier for both of us.
8) We need to feel loved
We want to feel appreciated and loved but don’t want to feel ‘smothered’. We may also show our appreciation in a different way then you are used to and we may receive love in a different way as well. It may not always be through words, but through actions or gestures. I recommend reading ‘The Five Love Languages’ by Gary Chapman if you haven’t already. The reason we are so independent in the first place is probably due to the fact we have been hurt in the past, or have gone through difficult times. We have a guard up for a reason, it may take a little time for us to let that guard down, but when we do it will be worth it.
9) We need you to be driven
We are very driven ourselves and we need you to be equally or even more driven. Goals are important to us and seeing you working hard, chasing your own goals, succeeding and exerting happiness will in return make us happy.
10) We need you to be independent too
We don’t want you to rely on us to do all your laundry, cook every meal, clean up after you and bow down to you. We won't expect you to call us every time you have an issue come up, or to get permission to go out with the guys or do something on your own. Sure we will help out and like to feel like we're there to support you, and help out but there needs to be a balance.